I’ve noticed several bloggers do different versions of this list each week. Some are book centered, some are not. Today I bring you 13 things about the(my) workplace that drive me crazy, from the “I’m Right and Everybody Else is Wrong” department.
1. My co-worker, forever to be known as dumb-boy. It’s a well known fact that a certain administrator hired herself a little bit of eye candy, and he and I are expected to work closely together. The problem? He can’t think his way out of a paper bag. He sent my 40 pages of incorrect statistics this morning. 40 pages.
2. Having to read 40 pages of incorrect statistics. It’s then difficult to want to read anything when I return home in the evenings.
3. The way people flock to free food when it’s offered, as though some leftover bagels or half a cake is a job perk. It’s a literal competition between almost everyone here, to see who can get to the free food first! No wonder there’s an obesity problem in America.
4. The fact that our work place has conditioned us to think of above noted free food as a benefit to compensate for long hours and low wages.
Numbers Five through Ten will deal only with my email issues
5. The constant cc’ing on emails. I firmly believe email has created a terrible cover-your-ass workplace culture, and it’s influenced everyone in the chain of command so CEO’s have become micromanagers and no longer trust their employees’ decision-making skills because, well, why should they have to anymore?
6. Email, and how it’s replaced in-person discussion and contact. It simply is NOT any kind of substitute for face-to-face brainstorming, arguments, discussion. And, if you happen to be just a wee bit oversensitive, like me, you have to train yourself against assuming ‘tone.’
7. Email, and how it’s created a level of immediate gratification in the workplace. Today I didn’t reply to an email for 45 minutes and you would have thought the roof was caving in on the hospital. Keep in mind, folks, I’m the writer. I’m not a doctor. NOthing I do is really earth-shattering at all.
8. Email, and how it’s made us all unable to focus on any one project for any length of time, because it continuously disrupts our trains of thought, and yet we are expected to “always be available.”
9. Email, and how it always crashes just when you need it the most.
10. Email, and how it encourages poor grammar, spelling and casual conversation. A subordinate just told me, via email, that I “totally rock!!!!” – Well, it’s true, I DO totally rock, but (a.) she doesn’t know that, (b.) I only use words like ‘totally’ on this blog and in my journal and never in work conversation and (c.) who the hell needs that many exclamation points?
11. Work dinners. I have one tonight. BUT. It IS at the place with the fried clam and garlic caesar salad, so I won’t moan too much. But most work dinners do NOT “totally rock!!!”
12. Spirit days. I didn’t dress up for them in high school, but mainly because I was too busy listening to Kurt Cobain, Pearl Jam and trying to be misunderstood (which doesn’t really work when you have lots of blonde hair and chubby cheeks, but oh well!) – I don’t dress up for them now because, I’m sorry, I know I’m type-A no fun, but I don’t want to see you in your pajamas or your Tigers hat or your jeans and I really, really, really don’t want to see your toes or feet. At all. Ever.
13. But mainly, I am frustrated with work because this morning I hit a wonderful groove with my short story and I was *this close* to finishing, and you know how that goes, everything is working, wow, you’re actually going to finish something you set out to do, and this is it, this is the story the New Yorker is going to fall in love with because your perspective is so damn refreshing, but – you have to go to work, and lecture (kindly) dumb-boy, and be nice to people you don’t like nearly as much as the ones you make up in your head.
In other news, I’m looking for a novel to read. It’s just, you know, nothing in my stacks totally rocks!!!! I just finished A Room With a View. I think I’d like something that takes me to an entirely different place the way Forster’s novel did, but a bit more modern, either family saga-ish or mystery-ish. Some blood and killing wouldn’t be remiss. I’m going to the library Saturday – thoughts? It’s nonfiction counterpart will be King Leopold’s Ghost, if that helps at all.