But, at least I don’t surf for porn at the library!(1.)

So yesterday, you all know how HOT I was, how very physically uncomfortable. On top of the heat, I’d eaten too much sugar and so I decided to go for a run after work, totally forgetting about daylight savings time, and by the time I got home my neighborhood was blanketed in darkness. With no outlet for my cupcake-fueled energy, I decided to go pick up some certified letters from the post office. Said letters were hefty letters from the IRS (we are in small battle with our tax guy and the IRS right now, over a ridiculously small sum of money but we are STANDING ON PRINCIPLE (PRINCIPAL? NO. PRINCIPLE. RIGHT?) because that’s how we do, S. and I.  Anyway, after picking up the hefty  letters I thought to myself, “Self,” I said, “Why don’t you go to the library and make yourself feel better? It will keep you from binge eating.” My self replied an enthusiastic “Yessireebob!” and to the library I went where I scored the following (1.) a brand-new copy of Stephen King’s latest novel, Lisey’s Story; (2.) Friday Night Lights (I’m attending a conference with the author next week); (3.) The Santa Fe Cookbook (can’t wait to make goat cheese chicken breasts with pan-apple sauce!), and (4.) Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses, because I’ve heard his newest book is transforming, incredible, in two ‘words’, da bomb, but I don’t want to be all bandwagony and start reading McCarthy just because of these reviews.

So, I turned around from the stacks, feeling utterly sedated (why people need marijuana is beyond me – a good book binge will always calm me down and get me high), and because of my close proximity to the internet stations I say a young guy, maybe 22-23, USING THE COMPUTER LIBRARY TO LOOK AT PORN! Is nothing sacred?  Have we completely lost our moral center? I mean, back in MY day, we weren’t even allowed to talk in the library less we incur the wrath of the librarian, who spent her time reading and replacing books, NOT decorating Halloween cupcakes with neighborhood children in the middle of the building, which is what OUR librarians were busy doing while this dude desecrated library computers.

I’m just saying. You know, back in the day when I walked up hill both ways to school in blustery snowstorms, back when we only had one TV and NO cable and everything cost a nickle, and my parents took me on trips to the library, somehow having managed to convince me that this was a treat better than ice cream or candy or dolls (oh, how excited I’d get!), back in the day when I thought relentlessly about turning in my children’s library card with it’s five-book minimum for the Amex-like luxury of a NO LIMIT adult card, well, nobody would have ever gone to the library to look at porn. They would have gone to the sketchy liquor store north of town, bought some dirty magazines, and hidden in their bedrooms, instead of offending th

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8 Responses to But, at least I don’t surf for porn at the library!(1.)

  1. um, my post somehow was cutoff. I don’t remember how I finished. But I do know I said this is counting as my first post for NaBloPoMo, because many of you won’t read it until tomorrow and I need the leniency…

  2. davidbdale says:

    Two things struck me about your truncated post. One, a question: was the offending young man making a lot of noise while he surfed? Two, an image that came to mind (perhaps fueled by too many TV horror specials) of your local librarian decorating cupcakes WITH NEIGHBORHOOD CHILDREN.

  3. Kerryn says:

    Well, it’s the 1st of November in Australia… No need for leniency here.

    I still like to think of the library as a quiet place, a temple for the worship of words and it makes me just a little bit angry to come across people who just do not know how to act in one. Didn’t they go to libraries back in the day when silence was not only expected but demanded, when we went there to find treats to expand our minds and nothing else? I can’t imagine how I would have reacted had I stumbled on someone browsing porn, especially when I’d just been calmed by all those lovely books.

  4. Stefanie says:

    A book binge is the best thing to calm the nerves. Really bad about the guy and the porn. Did you report him? It’s a no-no to do that in our libraries and if you get caught no more internet for you.

  5. Dorothy W. says:

    Uck. We read some essays in my writing class recently on whether filters should be put in library computers — they keep the porn out (most of the time) but might keep people from seeing legitimate things they should be able to see.

  6. bloglily says:

    The proximity of porn and those cupcakes is visually and morally disturbing. You should have yanked out his power cord and ordered him to get himself to a liquor store before you gave him up to the librarian, who’d turn him into a cupcake faster than you can say penthouse.

  7. Emily says:

    Ohh, having worked in a library, you’d be surprised! People found porn even back in your day, and exposed themselves in the stacks, and used bathrooms to change themselves from “he’s” into “she’s”…I could write a whole book, but I really don’t want to, because that was one of the sad things about working in a library for me (a place one would have thought would have been nothing but heaven on earth). The magic was taken out of it. Now that I no longer work in one, I can go back to pretending it’s a Wicked Witch-less Land of Oz.

  8. Emily says:

    Ohh, having worked in a library, you’d be surprised! People found porn even back in your day, and exposed themselves in the stacks, and used bathrooms to change themselves from “he’s” into “she’s”…I could write a whole book, but I really don’t want to, because that was one of the sad things about working in a library for me (a place one would have thought would have been nothing but heaven on earth). The magic was taken out of it. Now that I no longer work in one, I can go back to pretending it’s a Wicked Witch-less Land of Oz (as long as I don’t run into people searching for porn online).

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