This sucks

Today Literary Journal wrote me and told me that my revision is full of “fine writing” and I show “tremendous promise” but even with the revision something still isn’t ringing quite right and they don’t want to include my piece, although could I submit something else soon?

AAAARRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!! This sucks. I know I’ll return to this email and eventually be flattered by the langauge and I’ll try again, but right now I’m just distraught. I busted my ass on that revision and while I thought it would be comforting to know I did the very best I could, turns out, it’s not at all! If the very best I can do is not good enough, well, there is no comfort at all in that.

This year seems full of false starts. I took a job that, turns out, is so dreadfully wrong for me I don’t know I ever thought I could be corporate. If one more person says they look forward to my contribution to the growing value of _________ Corps I think I’ll vomit. I’ve been reading the same books since New Year’s Eve. And all the effort I poured forth into the Essay has come for naught.

Harumph. Am feeling very very sorry for myself, and thinking I need an activity to counteract all the writing I do on a daily basis, both for work and my own pleasure. Or maybe I need to abandon submitting stuff and just bang out my novel finally – perhaps it’s time to sacrifice my nonfiction for a few years and concentrate on fiction while my voice grows. Hmm. Maybe that’s it

I guess I can think through all of this more, later. It IS Oscar night, after all. And I do love the Oscars. A lot. There will be time for more thinking, and more writing, tomorrow.

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14 Responses to This sucks

  1. Dorothy W. says:

    I’m so sorry! That does sound very frustrating, to get so close with the essay but not quite all the way. But what the editors said to you IS very encouraging — a very, very good sign about your writing — and you should totally submit something else to them!

  2. Charlotte says:

    I agree with Dorothy. You’ve got their attention now, so it’s a good time to submit another piece. I am sorry though about how grim things look at the moment and I hope that a bit of Oscar-watching did the trick and cheered you up.

  3. Katie says:

    This has nothing to do with your post, but Chris’s replacement started today (did I tell you he was leaving? another dept. in our company) Anyway… she looks just like you but with brown (curly) hair! I’ll have to get a picture sometime. Scott and I both saw the resemblance.

  4. Emily says:

    Sounds like you need to drop everything right now and get a copy of COMPANY by Max Barry to read. It will make you laugh, will help you keep your sanity in your corporate existance, and will inspire you, I hope, to write marvelously funny fiction. I, for one, know you can write better than Barry, but you have the same sort of sense of humor.

  5. Emily says:

    Sounds like you need to drop everything right now and get a copy of COMPANY by Max Barry to read. It will make you laugh, will help you keep your sanity in your corporate existance, and will inspire you, I hope, to write marvelously funny fiction. I, for one, know you can write better than Barry, but you have the same sort of sense of humor.

  6. Emily says:

    Sounds like you need to drop everything right now and get a copy of COMPANY by Max Barry to read. It will make you laugh, will help you keep your sanity in your corporate existance, and will inspire you, I hope, to write marvelously funny fiction. I, for one, know you can write better than Barry, but you have the same sort of sense of humor.

  7. Emily says:

    Sounds like you need to drop everything right now and get a copy of COMPANY by Max Barry to read. It will make you laugh, will help you keep your sanity in your corporate existance, and will inspire you, I hope, to write marvelously funny fiction. I, for one, know you can write better than Barry, but you have the same sort of sense of humor.

  8. Emily says:

    Sorry. I have no idea why my comment posted a million times. Maybe it’s a sign?

  9. Andi says:

    Hmmphf. Obviously Literary Journal is full of fuckwits who know nothing. Having read your writing for a bit now, I think you’re bloody brilliant.

  10. LK says:

    Oh, that’s just a big fat sucko bummer, to put it in the most literary way. Listen: There’s no reason why your piece can’t work somewhere else — so, get out the Writer’s Digest on nonfiction and submit it around the planet. And definitely keep the momentum going with this LJ. Read more of their stuff, get some distance and perspective, and try, try again. (Their interest is actually encouraging, though it must be soooo aggravating to have slaved through this piece, only to be rejected at the end.)

    I know how discouraging it all is: Trust me. I have had a couple of weeks in Career Hell myself. Trying to make changes and getting kicked in shins and guts. But we gotta pick ourselves up — what the hell else is there to do?

    I am with Andi…your writing is bloody great! F-ck the f-ckwits.

  11. Dorothy – Oh, I’ll definitely submit to them again – I just don’t have anything really appropriate for them currently, if that makes sense?
    Charlotte – the Oscars did cheer me up, at least nominally – as much as canned entertainment can!
    Katie, please do not send me a picture. Every time someone says I look like someone I end up NOT being flattered. No offense, but that’s just my personality and since someone stole my yogurt at work today and I burst into tears, I might be ever so slightly oversensitive right now…
    Emily – LOL with the multiple postings! But I don’t think I plan to keep my corporate existence…I’m going out of my mind, here…
    Andi – thank you soooo much! Those are just the words I needed to hear today!

    LK – hurrah, yes, let’s fuck the fuckwits. I’m sorry you are having a difficult time career-wise, as well. And I will sumbit the piece again, it’s just, with nonfiction it’s all about finding the right market and spinning and blah blah blah…I just don’t have it in me tonight…tomorrow I will….thanks for the support!

  12. nova says:

    I’m sorry, I just wanted to chime in and say that sucks-sucks-SUCKS. But don’t give up, on the piece or on the lit journal when you’re ready. I hope things turn around and that your piece finds an even BETTER publication! So there, dumb LJ.

  13. Stefanie says:

    Sorry the essay didn’t work out. Let it rest a week or two and then submit it somewhere else. And definitely submit something else to the LJ this essay was going to. I’ve heard from lots of published writers that persistence is the key. You’re good, it will happen.

  14. litlove says:

    I’m with LK on this one. You have a piece that works, now submit it around lots of places. My experience is that you need to approach 5-10 different people to place one thing. After that, once you get going, then you get commissions and life is easier. But DO NOT be discouraged, Courtney. You have to look at it as a lot of silly hoop-jumping. But it will pay off if you persist. Oh and I’m now reading Stefanie’s comment above, which just goes to prove what an insightful person she is, and more concise than me….

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