the muse has left the building

I have so much I want to blog about, but I don’t have the attention span or energy or time to seemingly commit to any of the topics I have rolling around in my head lately.  Some topics I’ve been thinking about include the status of my novel, the status of my running program, my current reading, the dog I tried to adopt, my dad, my mom, my husband and the month of May, my brother’s engagement, that book The Feminine Mistake, the hopelessness of feminism (or at least, how it feels hopeless), an explanatory discussion on stem cell research, faith, my former co-workers and the Master Cleanse, my luck in the sisters I have, a few discussions on wellness, and our right to it, the New York Times book review this week (anyone else dying for a cigarette and a drink after that issue?), the eat local challenge I’m joining, local farms around Michigan and my recipe of the week.

Well, look at that. I’ve created a list.  Sometimes lists really help, don’t they? Sorting through all the mumbo jumbo cluttering up your brain and figuring out what you’ve been meaning to write all along.

Part of my problem has been the fact that i’ve been suffering for a month from a wicked allergy/cold combo that finally (knock wood) disappeared yesterday, leaving my body exhausted and craving a ton of sleep.  Sometimes, too, it’s hard to write on a blog when I write all day at work and try to write at home as well, but mostly I think it’s good old-fashioned spring fever – the sun is finally shining, the air is finally warm and I’m feeling totally distracted…when I’m blogging I think about running, when I’m running I’m thinking about the novel, when I’m writing the novel I’m thinking about work, when I’m working I’m thinking about hanging out with S. at the end of the day, and when I’m hanging out with S. I’m thinking about what I should cook for dinner and see….this reminds me that over the last week I’ve developed a philosophy on cooking which I also would like to write about…remind me…asparagus peelers. Asparagus peelers.

Fortunately I’m generally the kind of gal who accepts how she’s feeling and tends to go with it (and here I’m reminded I’d also like to blog about the different energy levels S. and I have) and so I’m just going to bounce around on this post-allergy, post-cold, post 30th birthday haze for a bit and see what sticks.  Until something does (stick, that is), rest assured I am here and I am blogging, even if it’s only in my head.  It just happens to be that I’m too busy planning the summer movies I’m going to see while also thinking about which ice cream place to visit first to actually sit down and type.

(PS – and I think also I need to improve my vocabulary…do you ever feel that way? I’m pretty sure there is one perfect word for what I’m feeling and if I were smarter I would know it.  I wish that word was chimera. I always wish chimera would mean something different than it does)

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5 Responses to the muse has left the building

  1. Dorothy W. says:

    I feel that way about blogging sometimes too — lots of good ideas, but no focus or energy to write them out. It’s very good to be able to accept how you’re feeling and not try to feel something you’re not — I wish I were better at it!

  2. Emily Barton says:

    I don’t think the muse has left the building. I think she’s on overkill and is wearing you out. Tell her to behave herself.

  3. litlove says:

    I’m with Dorothy – I’m terrible at accepting that how I feel is how I feel, even though in theory I can see how sane that is. Anyhow, you’ve got a list now, Courtney, so whenever the mood takes you to blog, you’ll easily remember what you wanted to say!

  4. dorothy – accepting how I’m feeling and being okay with it is so difficult for me but I’m really working on it because I think it’s fundamental to overall contentment.

    Emily – I think you’re right. I think she needs a nap and some chocolate!

    Litlove – I have my list, and another one I’m keeping on my desk…I think organizing my thoughts helped. Bring on the blogging!

  5. Stefanie says:

    I’m in the middle of something similar. I attribute it to spring fever and fine weather. Suddenly there is so much to do and not enough time to do it all in and I have so much to do this summer from gardening to home repairs and I am wondering how the summer could possibly be long enough especially since what I really want to do is sit on my deck with a book and a cold drink.

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