Almost Apple Bread

I still owe a review of Coronado – it’s coming, just not today. Why not today? Because today, today, we here in the home of everythinginbetween had a crisis of such mega proportion as to throw both S. and myself totally for loops. This is the kind of crisis that has shaken our very foundation, folks – the kind of crisis that promises repercussions for at least the next week.

What is this problem, you ask? What kind of problem could keep Courtney from posting her PROMISED book review? Did she run out of hair product? Did her local library suddenly close unexpectedly? No. I fear it’s an even worse situation.

Our stove is busted.

Perhaps for most people this problem wouldn’t be considered a Crisis of Epic Proportions but S. and rarely use our microwave, and we don’t even own a George Foreman grill  or a regular grill or the like. We also don’t eat (and, yes, this is going to reek of food snobbery, so feel free  to return in a few days’ time, if you would like) food that is easily microwavable, so we can’t just pop a frozen pizza in the microwave should we want to.

It happened this afternoon, as I was preparing my recipe for the World’s Best Apple Bread (name mine).  We had a lovely meal planned for the evening – a roast, with acorn squash, sauteed bok choy and sour dough bread (please note – our oven and stove top needed for all of the above). I was listening to Brandi Carlile, rocking to “My Song,” and cracking eggs over a snowy pile of sugar while the oven preheated when a loud Crack came from the oven, our lights dimmed, and sparklers went off in the oven. I screamed called for S. and he came running down the stairs.

“The oven is on FIRE.” I said.

He opened the oven door and peered in.

“Do we throw water on it?” I asked.

“No, I don’t think that would do any good, ” he said. He closed the oven door and we watched as a small, orange, steady glow made it’s way around the electrical heating thingy and burned itself out. S. then went to the computer and googled “stove” and “electric” and “sparkling” and diagnosed our stove with a burned -out -element (??). According to google, we can’t use our stove or the stove top, and will probably need a new unit altogether. We called our landlord and left a message, put the roast back in the freezer, and I tossed the dough to the World’s Best Apple Bread in the garbage.

On the one hand, we are deflated. I spent last week cleaning out our kitchen and reorganizing, so we ate a lot of haphazard meals – eggs and side salads, beans and bread, whatever cleared the pantry out, you know? Yesterday, with my gleaming, clean kitchen, I went to the grocery store and bought a whole lot of food (which, by the way, holy hell, are prices going up or what?) and brought it home and restocked. We were really looking forward to a meal with all its proper components. But now our stove is broken, and we have to wait on our landlord to fix it or replace it. Fortunately, our landlord is a real estate agent, and with the economy so shitty here in Metro Detroit I’m hoping she’ll have significant free time to rectify this situation.

In my heart of hearts, I am hoping we receive a new stove. From the get-go this particular unit has not been adequate. The stove top burners rest at an angle we’ve never been able to fix, so cooking anything on it requires constant manuevering of the pan to ensure doneness on all sides. The oven holds up its end of the bargain with roasts and breads but for whatever reason cooks cakes down to a crisp and doesn’t bake cookies at all.  Our oven has been a current source of mystery to us, and has never been completely satisfactory. It is my sincerest hope our landlord replaces it.

Interestingly, this brings up an issue I may blog about never later in the week – when both the husband and the wife work full-time, who stays home for the repairman? S. and I have been here before and it is never a pretty situation. I think it might go well with the marriage post about feminism I have brewing.

In the mean time, since I will not be eating the World’s Best Apple Bread this week, I thought I would share the recipe with y’all. It is S.’s favorite apple dish, out of all the fall apple dishes I make. I got it from a message board I used to visit – Erika, if you still read this blog, feel free to claim the credit – this is your recipe and it is the BEST.

The World’s Best Apple Bread

Mix Together:

1 cup oil

2 cups sugar

3 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

Add to Mixture:

3 cups flour

2 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt


3 cups chopped apple (peeled, of course)

1 cup chopped nuts (I use pecans)

This makes two loaves, so pour the mixture into two prepared bread pans. Combine some cinnamon and sugar in a bowl and sprinkle combination on top of dough. Bake at 325 for 1 Hour and 10 minutes.

Happy Apple Bread!

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12 Responses to Almost Apple Bread

  1. A. says:

    I have Monday and Tuesday free and my oven works! I’m sure I love apple bread.

  2. Becky says:

    I am definitely going to make that Apple Bread, it sounds wonderful. I am so sorry about your stove, although hopeful that you get a new one. And also hopeful that you found a delicious dinner somewhere.

  3. Cam says:

    Oh my. Fireworks in the oven and there wasn’t even food in there! Keeping my fingers crossed that you get a new stove. Before I learned to cook a few years ago, I had a stove, that when it stopped working, I had no idea how long it had been since I last used the oven.

    BTW, I blame my inability to bake on my oven and my husband claims that it isn’t possible that the same oven can cook roasts but not cakes

  4. Cam says:

    I meant to add to above comment: I feel vindicated that someone else — who obviously can bake — claims an oven that cooks somethings, but not others.

    The apple bread sounds great. I have an entire bag of apples. I may have to try your recipe.

  5. Kerryn says:

    I feel your pain. Hopefully it doesn’t take too long to get your stove fixed because, damn, I’d be craving that apple bread so badly.

    It is entirely possibly that an oven that is perfectly adequate for roasts and the like will be an utter failure when it comes to foods that are a little more sensitive. It’s all to do with seals and heat distribution and it’s maddening.

    And, please do blog about who stays at home waiting for the repairman. That has been the subject of far too many discussions in my home.

  6. Andi says:

    Wow, I would’ve probably passed out like one of those fainting goats. Here wishing you good luck getting a new unit, and dear GOD the apple bread sounds fantastic. Very fitting name.

  7. auntjone says:

    Sorry for the loss of a sub-par oven. You should, however, be able still use your burners on top. The heating element only heats the oven. Your burners should be their own separate elements. I don’t believe the two are connected in any way. If they are, you have an f’ed up stove and should demand a new one. 🙂

    Whomever can get the time off/leave early/go in late gets to stay home for the repair man at my house. I try to schedule them during planned vacations, evenings or Saturdays when possible but I know damn well that catastrophes will happen on their schedule, not mine.

  8. What a pain about your oven, especially when you had delicious food on the menu. I hope to make the apple bread on your behalf (do you reckon walnuts would be good? Pecans are hard to find in DLand). Hope it’s all fixed up soon.

  9. smithereens says:

    Waiting for the repairman (for ages) is always so complicated and frustrating, we try to share between me and Mr. Smithereens, depending of whom has more time off. But as our oven went bust 2 weeks ago (yes Courtney, I think we run parallel lives somehow), we happily discovered that the oven shop makes week-end deliveries, so no bitter argument over this! (the downside was that we have no landlord to send the bill to)

  10. Stefanie says:

    Hope you get a new oven that will make roasts and the best apple bread and cookies and cake too! And I hope it arrives really soon.

  11. Emily Barton says:

    Reminds me of when my oven just gave out when I was in the midst of trying a delicious-sounding recipe for French toast casserole for brunch one weekend. Good luck with getting it fixed, and thanks for the apple bread recipe.

  12. gofigure says:

    Have you ever heard of a group called “The Pickle Gang”?

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