The return of the bullet post – for catch up purposes only!

bringing you up to date –

  • I am back at work.  I considered quitting off and on throughout my maternity leave but ultimately decided it would be easier to quit if being a working mom didn’t work out than it would be to find another job if being a stay-at-home-mom failed and thus, I am back to work after a four-month maternity leave.
  • So far, I prefer for the moment to being  a working mom than a stay-at-home mom. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love how long I’m parted from my daughter each day and actually think part-time would be perfect (but no,  I can’t go part-time with my current job) but otherwise I feel it lends a sense of organization and peace to our household that wasn’t there when I was home all day.  And also, I get to eat lunch. With both hands. and it’s not half a bagel spread with whatever I can grab from the fridge slopped on top.  And I can listen to my pandora radion stations throughout the day, wear linen without getting spit up on, wear high heels with abandon and did I mention, eat lunch? Don’t get me wrong, I miss Evangeline like I miss a limb but I also really love how much fun it is to see her at the end of each day.
  • One great thing about daycare – NAPS. Oh my god, Evangeline did NOT nap before she went to daycare. I never stressed  about it because she has been an awesome night sleeper for well over two months and also, I read this site which told me not to worry too much about organized naps for many months but suddenly, without any assistance from us, Evangeline naps! And is then happy the whole. rest.of.the.day.  And so, for all the mothers out there who are at their wits end re: naps I recommend two weeks of daycare as a solution.
  • I’m still breastfeeding.  If you would have told me this before I had Evangeline I would have laughed so hard I would have fallen out of my seat or drowned from the many, many tears of laughter.  Instead, 4+ months in I am still doing it and when I can find a way to write about it that doesn’t participate in the culture of mom-against-mom, I will. I have been stunned with how fraught this conversation is and how vehement some voices can me on the subject – it’s absolutely chilling how women treat one another on this subject, let alone the many, many, many other subjects on motherhood we apparently argue about endlessly on places like babble and blogher and the nearby playground.
  • S. found a job in Pittsburgh and no longer travels so often for work, which is wonderful.  My brother received a promotion at work and is moving to Colorado, which is wonderful for him but awful for the rest of us.  All four grandparents are insane over their grandchild to an almost uncomfortable degree and I often find myself hoping that someone else will pop out a kid if only to alleviate some of the pressure from Evangeline – it is almost bizarre in its nature and I am trying to protect her from it.
  • People who ask moms with newborns to skype are jerks.  Do you know how impossible it is to
  • (a.) commit to a time when your baby isn’t fussy, and

(b.) hold her on your lap or in some proximity to the camera, and

(c.) have any sort of conversation?  As it turns out, pretty damn impossible. And yet the requests to skype keep pouring in from family and friends, as do the requests for more and more pictures to be emailed, and it is terribly stressful.  If you have a new mom in your life, I recommend making her dinner and then taking the lead from her…she’ll get you some pictures and set up a skype session but probably not until after she’s done with her thank you notes which are incredibly overdue.

  • I am reading again but very slowly – currently making my way through The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo,  which I am enjoying even more than I thought I would. I recently finished Tina Fey’s brain dump Bossy Pants and I loved every random chapter of it – a review coming your way soon. 
  • I am not cooking any new recipes right now and don’t know when I will find the time to do so again…I am hoping by autumn. For now we are relying on our grill, vegetables and fruit from the farmer’s market, the occasional pizza delivery and cheese, crackers and salami.  It is not ideal but neither is any of it (except the pizza) highly processed and it works.
  • I saw the Hangover II with my brother yesterday. I hope they make a three and a four and a five and never change the formula, ever.
  • I think this just about brings everything up to date – except to say, whatever did I do before Evangeline? She fills up all the spaces in between, in the most wonderful way possible:

 

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21 Responses to The return of the bullet post – for catch up purposes only!

  1. katy says:

    I know just what you mean about the Skype requests. How often do I hear, “Let’s just chat quick while you get lunch ready” or “it will only take five minutes! Come on!” Of course, you know that five minutes is not really five minutes and even that would be really challenging. Yikes! It’s a bit easier now that Miles can actually talk, since it takes some of the pressure off me to converse while keeping the universe aligned over here 🙂

  2. Zoesmom says:

    Sounds like things are going well and I’m so glad. I completely know what you mean about eating lunch. I can remember many Mondays when I was glad to get to my quiet office where I could have some grown-up time. It is hard to leave, but good to be away. One of the many paradoxes of motherhood. Evangeline is just gorgeous!

  3. Amy says:

    Ahahaha, I remain completely enamored by that girl.

    We should pick an evening for me to bring you a milkshake. Maybe even S. can have one, too.

    (I can’t promise I won’t taunt E. with the fact that she can’t have milkshakes yet.)

  4. Lily says:

    She’s adorable. I love her smile. Sounds like all is well with you! And I completely agree with your observation about how vicious women can be to each other about differences in choices around childrearing. Why do you suppose it’s like that?

  5. shoreacres says:

    Heck, I rely on the “grill, vegetables and fruit from the farmer’s market, the occasional pizza delivery and cheese, crackers and salami”, and I don’t even have a baby!

    Evangeline’s turned into a real beauty – that smile is infectious!

  6. So, so glad to hear that the working, napping and breast-feeding are all working well. You and Evangeline are poster children for “Mama can work and be happy and baby can to to daycare and be happy”, which both my mother and my mother-in-law told me were impossible. Well done to you both! And glad to hear that she is thriving.

  7. litlove says:

    What a little cutie! You sound so sorted, Courtney and so sane. Every family is different and what suits you and works for you is exactly right, completely regardless of what anyone else says or does. I’m with bloglily in being amazed (and sometimes horrified) by how harsh those mummy wars can become. My goodness, it’s hard enough to bring children up as it is, no need to argue over how it gets done.

  8. shelley says:

    lunch with two hands. Gold!

  9. smithereens says:

    Thanks for the update and the super cute pix! Glad that you found some kind of balance in this busy-crazy new life of yours… and congrats to Evangeline for learning to nap. Could she perhaps learn how to let you sleep late on weekends?

  10. Andi says:

    GREAT to see you! I totally agree with you that working adds some peace to life. I have been off for a week, and I would NOT BE A GOOD STAY AT HOME MOM. I adore my family, but I need “me” time, and surprisingly enough, work is “me” time. Who knew?!

    Thanks for catching up!

  11. Kristi says:

    I am so happy to hear that everything is going so well!

  12. Emily Barton says:

    Okay, I will no longer complain about the stress and guilt put on me by friends and family members. I cannot believe that anyone would put pressure on a new mom to email photos and to Skype. Meanwhile, I see nothing wrong with breast feeding any length of time that’s comfortable. I know some who did so for a month, and others who did so for 2+ years. People argue about it? Geez! As if there isn’t enough to worry about. What a cutie Evangeline is. I think she needs to come visit Amish country (somehow, the Amish survive without photos and Skype).

  13. Cam says:

    I’m so glad that none of my relatives have discovered Skype — and I don’t have a baby! How can you chat on Skype and cook dinner at the same time? But, if they are harassing you about pictures, it is only because they’ve temporarily lost their minds, having forgotten about how busy new moms are because they can’t get enough of that little cutie, Evangaline! She is gorgeous and I love her smile!

  14. Amanda says:

    So glad to hear it’s all going well. Evangeline looks gorgeous- so smiley and happy! I also had the misfortune of being the first one to produce a grandchild on both sides of the family. For the first couple of years I felt the grandparents on both sides creepily and obsessively fixated on her in a way which was quite insensitive to her needs and to ours- they’d sulk and make snarky comments when we’d have to leave a family function because our daughter needed a nap or when we didn’t want to keep her out late at a wedding so left during the speeches and so forth. And also with the expecting constant photos emailed. I still haven’t really forgiven them for some of that but it has moderated over the years and, although, there were times when I genuinely would have liked to cut them out of my life or at least to have moved far, far away I always felt glad that my daughter had so many people who loved and cared for her even though they were driving me insane at the time.

  15. Stefanie says:

    From the sound of it things are going so well for you! And that photo of Evangeline, well she’s as cute as can be! Not having kids, I am surprised to hear about how mean women/mothers can be. I had no idea!

  16. Courtney says:

    Katy – I can see Skype being helpful when E can be engaged with it – right now half the time it makes her cry (as do church bells and strange dogs) and the other half she is intent on destroying the camera!

    Zoesmom – there are definitely times where working is more restful than managing E’s fusses -which are few and far between but epic in their grandeur when they do occur…

    Amy – better yet, let’s all make our way to the Milkshake factory together! S and I are goign to have you over for dinner after the 4th of July…we can plan a sojourn then!

    e

  17. Courtney says:

    Lily – I am guessing a lot of the tension stems from every mom wondering if she made the “right” choice…I mean, there is guilt if you work, guilt if you don’t…I feel we manifest our guilt by becoming overly defensive about our choices and then attacking others when we feel under attack?

    Shoreacres – thank you! We love her smile as well!

    Charlotte – oh, it makes me sad to hear that you were told that from both your mother and mother in law! I honestly don’t think there is an ideal mothering situation any more…it certainly requires no end of flexibility and good cheer!

  18. Courtney says:

    Litlove – that is why I infinitely prefer my own little book/food/movie loving corner of the internet instead of crazy mommy land!

    Shelley – welcome! I am looking forward to reading your blog and getting to know you!

  19. courtney says:

    Smithereens – oh, I think sleeping in is a thing of the past for me…she is generally ready and raring to go sometime in the six o’clock hour. That said, we did have one day last weekend where she slept in until 7:30 – we felt like gods!

    Andi – I know! I can’t believe I consider work me time but it is…it’s funny how much more you appreciate just listening to internet radio or running to starbucks!

    Kristi – thank you!

    Emily – I think a visit to Amish country is definitely in order! Right now we are trying a road trip this weekend and will see how that goes, and take it from there! 🙂

  20. Cam, oh, I mostly understand why everyone has lost their minds over Evangeline – I mean, I most certainly have as well! It just always feels like one more thing to do…

    Amanda – I agree – it’s such a balancing act. I am thrilled E has so many people who love and care for her, but that love and care is manifested in some very intrusive and what I perceive as high-pressure ways, and I don’t think it’s particularly good for her.

    Stefanie – well, I will probably be writing a lot about this mom vs. mom culture thing happening here so hopefully I don’t bore you to death, LOL!

  21. Pete says:

    So great to hear that Evangeline is doing so well. She is a real cutie. And you seem to be doing really well too. Thanks for the updates. Very reassuring to hear about the naps too. L is back at work for two weeks now and things are going well but I know it’s a huge adjustment for her (and for me!)

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