misfit Monday post

“Don’t forget to add coffee,” S. said Saturday morning as I was making out the grocery list. “And cream,” he added, wiping  up the remnants of Evangeline’s breakfast from her high chair.

“Okay. And I think I am going to buy some black tea for the week,” I said.  “I want to try drinking tea in the mornings this week  instead of coffee.”

S. glanced at me – the kind of glance a man who has been down similar roads in the past gives a wife – barely perceptible, but heavy with the sarcasm, all the same.

“Why? Why would you do that to yourself?’ He asked. “You love coffee.  There hasn’t been a morning in all of our marriage that you haven’t woken up and demanded coffee.  You are not the kind of person who gets out of bed and wants a nice cup of  tea.”

“I was reading this blog and the author said every morning she likes two cups of black tea with fresh mint to start her day,” I explained. “I thought I would try it – it sounds so refreshing.” Even as I said this, though, I was doubting my reasoning.  When the following morning rolled around, would I really be able to turn down coffee in favor of tea, no matter how sophisticated and healthful the tea sounded?

“Tea is an afternoon drink,” S. declared. “Save tea for the afternoon, if at all.”

And then I said something I rarely, if ever, say to my husband.   “You’re absolutely right.” I scratched tea off the list.


I’ve got to stop doing things I don’t enjoy simply because I feel I should, or because someone I admire does them.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about more and more, and, in fact, on Friday of last week began by making my first declaration, to whatever co-workers happened to be around me at the time.

“I am no longer eating almonds as a snack,” I said.  “I am so sick and tired of eating a ‘sensible’ portion of almonds because they are low-carb and heart healthy.  They have got to be the worst, most anemic snack in the world and I am done with them.”

I often find myself doing/eating/drinking things I don’t really enjoy because I listen to too many talking heads on the news blather on about heart health and lowering cholesterol and fighting obesity and the Mediterranean Diet and how our kids are  going to die at younger ages than we will and, well, I can simply exhaust myself and those around me from all the things I think we should be doing, on any given day.

Here, for what it’s worth, are some things I’ve decided I’m never going to do again:

1. Eat almonds

2.  Think about drinking tea instead of coffee

3. Jog

4. Pretend to enjoy shopping at Babies R Us

5. Sign up for discount cards at stores I don’t frequent no matter how good a deal the cashier insists I could get (and yeah, babies r us, I’m talking to you)

6. Go to a professional football game

7. pretend I’m a foodie

To balance out the negative, though, here are seven things I hope to do …

1. vacation in Costa Rica

2. Learn to surf

3. Learn to dance  – like,  REALLY dance, like they did in the fifties and sixties

4. own a convertible car

5. See the Great Barrier Reef

6. own a real Chanel something or other

7. throw a really really really big but also grown up party (ie – an open bar, waiters circulating with food, a band…)

Just some misfit thoughts for this Monday afternoon…





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13 Responses to misfit Monday post

  1. litlove says:

    Yay! Striking a blow against conformity here, Courtney, which is always so great to see. Hey, I feel more liberated just from reading your post. I am gradually making more and more decisions like this. I will not pretend to like parties. I will not pretend I am a normal person. I will not stay silent and eat whatever my mother-in-law gives me when she has forgotten my food intolerances. These are good strong decisions to make.

  2. smithereens says:

    Rejecting those allegedly “sensible” things (“best for you”, blah blah blah) seems quite sensible and mature to me. Yay to choosing your own path! Don’t feel guilty and try to justify yourself. You prefer coffee over tea and that’s it. Well done! And btw, let us know about your positive decisions turn out (esp. the dancing and the party thing!)

  3. Pete says:

    I love tea but wouldn’t drink it black with mint. Yugh! I think the milk balances out the acidity or something. I like the sound of your lists though. Yay for knowing what you like and sticking to it. I hope we’re still blogging friends when you visit the Great Barrier Reef. I want to hear all about it. And that really big party too 🙂

  4. Oh, I LOVE this list. Gretchen Rubin wrote in The Happiness Project that you can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do. I find this oh so very true!

  5. I loved reading your lists of to-dos and never-to-dos. I think I might need to do a bit of this type of listing myself.

  6. Rebecca H. says:

    I am SO susceptible to persuasion and to thinking what other people do is right when what I do isn’t, so thanks for the reminder that what other people do doesn’t matter!

  7. shoreacres says:

    Your post reminds me of the oft-circulated “When I am an Old Woman, I shall begin to wear purple…”. Everyone remembers the first line, but very few remember the lines that come at the end:

    “But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
    So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
    When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.”

    It sounds to me like you’re beginning to practice!

  8. Emily Barton says:

    LOL! You won’t believe how many times I’ve been influenced to do something I know I probably won’t like just because someone else has made it sound like such a good thing to do. I might, some day, sit down and make a list of all the foods that are good for me that I love and all those that are good for me that I hate and finally make a decision not to eat anything from the latter list (brussel sprouts? Bleh! And yet, I keep buying them and trying to make them palatable).

  9. Litlove – good for you! I especially like the refusing to eat what your mother in law serves you even if you are intolerant to it. Hurrah, hurrah!

    Smithereens, oh, you know I’ll tell you all about the party and the dancing when they happen.

    Pete – I doubt I will ever stop blogging. I do hope it picks up in frequency, though!

    A – that is a really good thing to remember. It’s not my fault I don’t like almonds and tea and jogging! But I do like peanuts and coffee and swimming, so it all evens out.

    Andi – it was pretty fun to write – and I keep thinking of things to add. You should definitely write one out as well – I would love to read it!

    Rebecca, I wonder why some of us are so susceptible when others aren’t? We both need to start standing up for what we like and want!

    Shoreacres – well, tomorrow I am wearing a purple dress! Well, it’s more of an eggplant color, but still. The spirit is the same!

    Emily – see? you need to stop buying brussel sprouts immediately. Besides, I love them and will eat them while forever spuring rice…

  10. Funny. I just removed a bunch of those stupid cards from my wallet this morning. Go you!

  11. AnneCamille says:

    Loved reading this, although I did wince at your description of almonds, one of my favorite snacks. But, that isn’t the point. We each need to eat (or not eat) that which we love, and not only because it is good for you. I’ve tried several things that my doc told me to eat because of the “good for you” bit, but almonds were the only ones that I like. I suppose my problem isn’t that I’m too easily swayed by others, but that I am too resistant to change and trying new things. So here is to stretching our boundaries where we can, not worrying about the “shoulds” and fearlessly saying “No” when we know it is going against our grain! And to dancing! Yeah!

  12. musingsfromthesofa says:

    Absolutely! ‘Should’ and ‘ought’ are bad words, so good for you for even identifying this stuff. I heartily endorse the idea of a convertible. Convertibles rock, and I’ve never regretted mine for a second.

  13. ZoesMom says:

    I don’t think anyone enjoys shopping at Babies R Us. It is one of the circles of hell, I am sure.

    Anyway, I love this post and I think it is great. I had a similar realization a few years ago and it does make me happier to like what I like and not what someone thinks I should.

    BTW, I highly recommend owning a convertible someday!

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