A warning to those folks perhaps less than interested in posts about babies, birth stories and first-year parenting – my next three-four posts will focus on all of the above, as I celebrate/contemplate/freak out over the fact that Evangeline turns a year old in two weeks. The regularly scheduled programming of recipes, book reviews and rants about things happening on the internets will resume mid-February.
I’ve tried over the course of Evangeline’s short life to write about her in my journal whenever I remember to – some weeks I am exceptional at this – other weeks, not so much. Here are just a few excerpts from that journal – I’ll begin with some of what I wrote during the pregnancy and then move to her birth and first year in the coming days.
6/2/2010 – Dear peanut, today we found out we will soon be lucky enough to have you. So many steps to go through to get to you, but tonight we are in awe, and happy.
6/8/2010 – Time to break out of this lovely sort of fugue state I’ve been able to enjoy while in Chicago and start being proactive with this pregnancy. Back in Pittsburgh I know what awaits me – doctors appointments and deciding when to tell family and friends and work and creating a nursery…it’s going to be so much fun, but I am thankful for these first days of napping, eating, resting…
9/22/2010 – Dear Evangeline Grace – Today your dad and I learned you are Evangeline, and not Liam. I will never forget the look on your dad’s face when he learned you are a girl – shock and delight, all at once. The last few days you’ve started bouncing around my belly and I can feel your thud, thud, thud regularly – it’s absolutely delightful. I hope I always manage to treat you like a delight – that I relish the pleasure of your company and never make you feel belittled or insignificant. I hope I help you become courageous, and confident. I hope I can help you, with all of that –
9/23 – Dear Evangeline – today your dad declared that he is falling in love with you. Together we mooned over your ultrasound pictures – yoru perfect nose! The slope of your forehead!
but it wasn’t always all about the baby…there are a lot of entries about writing angst, and work,
I have got to find a way to make this job work for me – I need to find a way for a bit more time in quiet contemplation during the day so I can focus. I’m so distracted lately! I need to wrok on improving my concentration, remaining in the moment. When I grow frustrated with work I need to learn to take a st ep back and remind myself that I would like to be more like KG and concentrate always on doing the right thing. Part of the problem is I feel like there are dual mes…the professional me who wants to kick ass in her job and the c reative me who feels like she is drowning, all of the time.
10/26/2010 – Pregnancy, week 26 – Sore pelvis, sore back, active baby girl!
I will stop here for now and resume with the rest of the pregnancy and birth story next shortly!