In a way, the blogging of my journal entries stopped before it ever really got started. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed sharing the items I did but as I continued reading I realized I use my journal as a place to vent, chasticize myself or give internal pep talks. I essentially address the same set of topics over again…marital issues (good and bad) that are too private to post, issues with my parents that are too private to post, writing angst, job angst and not-doing-enough-with my life angst. The end result of what I do end up sharing makes it seem like I live in this incredible protected bubble, floating along gazing adoringly at my husband and child with only the minor, troubling thought that perhaps I should write something someday. While I certainly think I have a very good life, the journal entries I am comfortable posting make it seem more idealic  than it actually is, and that doesn’t seem fair. And so, while I have no doubt I will write much, much more about Evangeline and parenting in the future, for now I leave you with two items. The first is one last entry from my journal – Evangeline was about 6 weeks old when I wrote it.  I think it’s hilarious:

Tentative Schedule for E, 3/25/2011

5:30/6:00 a.m. – wakeup, nurse

6:30- 7:30 – time with daddy, possible formula supplement*

7:30 – 10:30 – naps

10:30 – 3:00 p.m. – nurse/play/run errands/mommy and me yoga

3:00 – 5:00 or 6:00 – nap

6:00 – 8:00 p.m. – nurse/play

8:00 – 10:00 p.m. – dinner, bath, bedtime

E’s actual schedule, 3/2/25/2011

12:05 a.m. – wakeup, nurse

4:15 a.m. – wakeup, nurse

6:15 a.m. – wakeup, nurse

nap

9:00 a.m. – wakeup, nurse

10:00 a.m. – belly/play time

11:00 a.m. – nurse/nap

12:00 p.m. – nurse

2:00 p.m. – grocery store!

3:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. – nurse/nap/nurse/nap

8:30 – 4 oz formula supplment from dad

10:00 – bedtime routine.

* Yep, I supplemented E with one bottle of formula a day from pretty early on – she had trouble gaining weight for several months and I needed the break once a day. I felt okay about it because my Dr. Brazelton book said it was fine but I’ll admit this subject is so freaking fraught! I mean, look at me, right now, justifying…

And then, what one year old looks like:

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8 Responses to

  1. litlove says:

    Aww, she looks adorable, Courtney! And so sensible of you to take a break with one extra bottle. My mother swore that no child could do both, and so I never even tried it. Why? Why??? And why are new mothers so slow to follow their instincts and so ready to take dreadful advice? well, I was, anyway. And my diary is also my venting place and about the only writing I do that I don’t foist on someone else at some point! 🙂 Not that you ever foist anything on us, ever, I add hurredly!

  2. katy says:

    I love how the day of parenting a newborn actually shapes out, where GROCERY STORE is something to exclamation point. Still, going to the grocery store alone is one of my great pleasures.

  3. shoreacres says:

    One year old looks happy, and pink, and sweet!

    And now my suspicions are confirmed. I always thought raising a baby squirrel was a lot like raising a baby person, at least in terms of the schedule of those early days – and sure enough. Baby squirrels have to be fed every two hours, too… so I do have some appreciation for that part of it.

    I noticed your grocery store exclamation point, too. Love those simple pleasures!

  4. smithereens says:

    I totally relate to your reservations about diary use. Diaries and blogs are just two worlds that rarely intersect (and thankfully so! You need somewhere to vent, pour your doubts and rehash pep talks without letting the world know or without annoying your spouse, right?). I may be too blunt but it kind of made me tick that you’re still feeling sore about this one daily supplement bottle (alright, I’m writing from a country where we don’t nurse as long as we should and supplementing is the norm). Go easy on yourself, sister!

  5. Pete says:

    Hi Courney! Evangeline’s loving the birthday cake I see! She’s adorable. Leah had sugar (properly that is) for the first time on her birthday and it was interesting to see the result. A few tears before bedtime but not too hectic.

    That schedule of yours brings back memories. No wonder L isn’t that keen on having a second baby anytime soon!

  6. Anne Camille says:

    E’s adorable.

    I have to agree with Smithereens — go easy on yourself! If it worked for you, who cares? E’s happy, healthy, and — I’ll say it again! — adorable.

  7. Stefanie says:

    Funny how the reality never quite meets the plan! It’s really been a year already? Evangeline is adorable and looks so very happy!

  8. Litlove – I think the only reason I let myself allow E one bottle is because Terry Brazelton’s book said it would be okay, and good for dad, too. I was so easily influenced in those early days it’s almost hard to believe now! I listened and believed everything EVERYONE said, even when opinions completely contradicted.

    Katy – it’s one of mine, too – when I take Evangeline it feels like I am competing in a contact sport I want no part of, with a really strict deadline.

    Shoreacres – yeah, having a baby is also a lot like having a puppy! Or at least, that is what it feels like sometimes…

    Smithereens – I know, right? I know longer have any kind of guilt associated with the formula feeding we did but I also know how vitriolic this subject becomes on the internet and it makes me feel very cautious…

    Pete – E handled the sugar pretty decently – we gave her her cake after lunch so she had several hours to work it off. We have not, however, repeated the offering…it was maybe a *bit* too popular in a way naturally sweetened things aren’t…

    Anne – aw, thanks! I think she’s a looker if I do say so myself…

    Stephanie – yep, a year. I know – time. It flies. It FLIES.

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