First of all, I certainly don’t anticipate this blog becoming nothing but marriage Monday posts. It just seems to have worked out that way for the last couple of weeks but by no means will it remain that way. And now, with that out of the way…
A week ago today found S. and me in our kitchen at 5 a.m., staring up at a leak that had broken through our bathroom floor and flooded our kitchen. Everything was covered in toilet water, from our coffee pot to my favorite salt and pepper shakers to E.’s bottles. For now I will spare you how we each dealt with the pipe disaster – that’s a different post for another day. Over the course of the week, with the help of our fantastic plumber, Bernie, the source of the leak was idenfied and fixed, leaving us with a kitchen ceiling that needed to be replastered and a host of household items to purchase.
Yesterday, we went shopping to purchase our new coffee maker. We debated for several days over whether to buy a keurig or not – my biggest concern was the fact they are bad for the environment (all those k-cups going to waste!) but otherwise was interested – right now we barely have time to drink coffee in the mornings so a whole pot often ends up wasted. There are also afternoons where I find myself wanting one cup of coffee but not wanting to fuss with making a pot. When we were browsing at Target S. pointed out that you can buy a reusable k-cup and grind your own beans – I was sold. Since our coffee grinder was another of the kitchen appliances destroyed by the Toilet Water Flood of aught 12, and we hadn’t researched which one we wanted to buy, we went ahead and purchased a couple boxes of K-cups to see us through the upcoming week. As we surveyed our choices S. casually gestured to Tully’s Italian Roast and mentioned he found that his favorite. (It’s probably important to note here that we both have keurig machines in our respective offices and so we have more than passing knowledge of the equipment and coffee flavors.)
“No way,” I said, trying to keep E. from pulling every box of K-cups off the shelving. We had made the mistake of liberating her from the confines of the grocery cart and she was grabbing at things for all she was worth. “That is my favorite brand, too!”
“Yep, it’s really good,” S. said, placing a Tully’s Itallian Roast in the cart.
“But, I didn’t know that about you!” I exclaimed. “Don’t you think it’s romantic that we share a favorite K-cup coffee brand and never knew it?”
“I think it’s sweet,” S. said, although he certainly seemed less enamored of the whole idea than I found myself.
Here’s the thing, though. S. and I have been married for twelve years, together for fourteen and we’ve known each other half of our lives. There isn’t that muchw we don’t know about one another beyond the secret interior thoughts everyone keeps to themselves. I could have probably repeated within five or ten words exactly how S. responded Monday morning to the plumbing mess – and I am sure he could with me, as well. I know to never ever ever put green pepper in anything I’m cooking, not because he’s allergic to it but because he hates it that much – I know the reason he always does the laundry is because he hates the way I do it. I can tell what kind of mood he is in by a one-second glance at his face and I know what reserves he draws upon to boost himself up when he needs to. Discovering his favorite k-cup flavor is the same as mine felt like this delightful surprise – our separate working worlds colliding in this tiny, unimportant way. Like, if I were doubting our relationship in that moment (which I wasn’t), then this shared preference completely reaffirmed everything – our life together.
It’s silly, I know, but to me it was a small delight in a week dominated by gushing toilet water, sexist contractors and an untold amount of work stress. Has your spouse taken you by surprise recently, for better or worse? Did it matter to you?